Sunday, November 4, 2012

Drop By Drop

"Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.  Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them." Colossians 3:18-19

In our feminist society, "submit" is viewed as a dirty word.  Submit? To HIM? No way.  It's a struggle, definitely.  I am a planner, so to submit to Mike is hard because I know he hasn't put as much thought into {whatever} as I have.  And don't even get me started on decisions concerning the kids!!!  NO ONE knows better than MOM, right?  My claws have come out many times to anyone who I think doesn't have my kids best interests in mind, including Daddy.  So to say I have struggled with submission over the years is not an exaggeration.  But, if we live our lives according to God's plan, there is great FREEDOM in submission.  First, obedience to God is always the best place to be.  So there's FREEDOM in knowing you're following His will.  Second, the word submit means "to give authority to another".  All decisions and responsibilities are transferred to someone else, our husbands in this case.  There is FREEDOM in that, too.  To know they will answer for the way they led their family.  They are not off the hook, they are to LOVE us and not be harsh with us.  They not only answer for decisions made, but the motivation behind those decisions.  Makes me glad for the chain of command that God set up! :) Submission isn't easy and sometimes LOVE isn't easy, but  when paired together, it is the BEST CASE SCENARIO! God created us and our relationships, so He knows what's best.  Trust Him.

"Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.  Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.  Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord."  Colossians 3:20-22

A definition I found for obey was "to be guided by".  I LOVE that.  Children are commanded to allow themselves to be guided by their parents. Because this pleases the Lord. This is another aspect of the "chain of command".  It's the way it's supposed to be.  Then, hinged on that, fathers (and mothers :) ) do not cause bitterness in your children.  The definition for  discourage is "to deprive of confidence. To try to prevent by disapproving". Did we learn nothing from Colossians 2:23, parents? The whole "because I said so" is not what we're looking for here.  We can give our kids regulations and force them to obey.  But, as 2:23 says "Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom with their self-imposed worship, their false humility, and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence."  If we say "because I said so", what are they really learning?  To follow rules, but why?  If they have no idea  why the rule exists, they become discouraged.  For example...My son comes home and wants to go out with a friend. I know this friend is an "unsavory character".  So I say "No". He says "Why?" I say...drum roll..."Because I said so, that's why. And YOU, young man, are supposed to OBEY me." Ok, so he doesn't go out with the friend, but he has no idea why.  He becomes discouraged because I only prevented by disapproving.  IT IS OUR JOB TO GUIDE THEM!!! If they didn't need us to guide them, we could just move them into their own apartment when they start kindergarten.  It is our job to guide them.  Not just make a bunch of rules and regulations and then yell at them when they fail.  We are to INSTILL God's word into their lives.  The word instill means "to inspire or impress.  to put in DROP BY DROP."  I love that!  We can't expect them to get it over night, or through one speech, or through one family meeting covering all of the expectations.  We have to invest our lives into theirs, to be willing to put the values and morals from God's word into their lives DROP by DROP.  It's a life-time commitment. As parents, we need to remember our responsibility to instill, not just our children's responsibility to obey.

I often sing the words to an old Al Denson song to my kids when they're faced with a decision. "When it seems like nobody cares, it still matters what you do."  This is what Paul is saying to the "slaves". Which applies to everyone.  At work, at home, out in public or home in the dark, it matters what you do.  Not just when people have their eyes on you or you are trying to win their favor, but because you love God.  All of commands from God have the same motivation behind them...love.