Let Me Rediscover You

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3O0BfTOkGK8&feature=related

I have played this song so many times over the last few days.  It just really struck a chord with me. I feel like I know God, but then I realize what I know is so small.    I love the scenes in the background of the girl who gives her heart to God, leaves Him for a while, then returns to Him.  Beautiful message of a forgiving God who wants us back, no matter what. 

We are blessed....right?

Mike and his 11 "brothers" just returned from a mission trip to Haiti.  I was excited, nervous, worried for them.  And a little jealous.  It was an amazing opportunity and I thought I would feel "left out" and struggle to "get it" when they shared all they saw, heard and felt during the week.  I have to say, for me, that hasn't been the case.  The excitement, love and respect they felt for the Haitian people has been contagious. The men shared pictures, videos and stories from their trip and it's starting to look familiar. I picked up a passport application last night at a concert, and I'm hoping to get it so I'll be ready to go if God would give me the opportunity.

The resounding theme as the men shared was "as Americans, we have been blessed."  I totally agree, the freedoms we have in our country are second to none.  I am thankful that I was born in America. But, as I got a glimpse of the Haitian Christians and their worship, my heart was overwhelmed.  They worship with abandon, no inhibitions, fully relying on God. They have nothing and yet they are thankful.  They rely on God for everything! I'd like to think that I do, too; but surrounded with my stuff like I am, I don't know that I've ever had to FULLY rely on God.  It's almost like, in the back of my mind, I'm thinking "If God doesn't come through on this, I'll take care of it myself." 

So my thought is... are we blessed?  Do we measure our blessings by what we have? Or should we measure  them by how much we rely on God?  Because I was born in America, surrounded by all the material goods I could ever really need, am I more blessed than my Haitian brothers and sisters?  Or do they understand a characteristic about God that I may only ever read about? Jehovah-Jireh--God who provides.

Don't get me wrong--I am thankful for my "stuff".  It is not wrong to be wealthy (which I would not consider myself by American standards, but by Haitian standards..)  I believe I can STILL worship God and be thankful to Him for everything I have.  But I'm saying I think it's harder to see that it's God who provides my every need when I'm pretty darn good at taking care of myself .

One of my LEAST favorite lines from any song is "Tonight, thank God it's them, instead of you". ("Do They Know It's Christmas?" Band-Aid)  I wish, for just one day,I could trade places with my Haitian Christian sisters and brothers .That  I could give up my things and see God through the eyes of  Christians  around the world who have not been born with my blessings. To completely trust God for everything. To worship Him with no inhibitions. To be able to raise my hands to Him, not worrying or caring what others think about me; only seeking to honor Him.

Disclaimer: I am only talking about "material" possessions.  The Haitian people face danger every day.  From the impurity of their water to violence in the streets.  I would not want to trade a day of that, as unfair and double-standard as that may seem.  But I am committed to praying for  them, I hope you will, too

Mike's Trip to Haiti--September 2011

Carried Away

I have started a tradition. When we have an important trip or event, I buy a new scent.  Usually from Bath and Body Works.  I can't smell "Moonlight Path" without immediately remembering our trip to Panama City Beach for our 20th anniversary.  "Sun-Riped Raspberry" reminds me of church camp.  One whiff of "Lavender Vanilla" takes me back to the special days before and after Landon's birth.  My scent for our recent trip to Florida was "Carried Away", a "whimsical blend of lush raspberries, white jasmine and whipped vanilla inspired by the way love sweeps you off your feet." Smells beachy and soft.  Turns out the name was an omen for our trip...

The first full day at the beach is always so exciting.  We packed all our stuff and trekked down to the beach.   We had two chairs as part of our rental, so that was home for us for the week.  We played and built sandcastles.  We relished the way the waves hit you and then the sand shifts beneath your feet.  Although I'm not a big fan of getting in the ocean, I usually do to be with the others.  We went out several times and rode the waves back in on boogie boards.  It was wonderful!!!  After lunch, Landon and I went out a very short distance and just enjoyed the waves.  It was so fun to have him to myself and hear his thoughts on all he was experiencing.  After about 10 minutes, I noticed the current had taken us farther out, not too far but farther than I intended to go.  I tried to put my feet down and realized I couldn't touch, especially with the almost constant waves lifting me.  I admit, I PANICKED!!!  I tried and tried to remember all I'd JUST read about how to get out of a strong undertow...the only thing I could remember was DON'T PANIC...I was getting tired so I tried floating on my back, but the waves kept coming.  I looked out and saw the girls were on their way out to us, and said "Girls!  Get Dad!" Jenna took Landon and was able to get back.  Mike came out and got me and Kayla.  It probably wasn't as bad as it felt, but being CARRIED AWAY is not nearly as relaxing as it sounds.

Landon was more than a little upset about "The Incident" as we took to calling it, so he was  content to play in the waves very close to shore.  He talked to me quite a bit about it, and most times would tear up again.  We had a great time in spite of the dramatic rescue of the first day.  But I, being the "deep thinker" that I am (:)), have thought about this nearly tragic event alot.  When Jenna got to the shore with Landon, she was met with two different responses.  One lady asked her "Do I need to call for help? The undercurrent is strong and this happened earlier."  The other response was laughter.  A group laughing at our struggles.  I was mad!!  But then, later, I asked Mike "Is that us?  Is that how we react to those around us who are struggling?"  It's EASIER not to get involved, it's EASIER to say it's someone else's problem.  As Christians, (and I am speaking for myself as much or more than others) we are called to help RESCUE people. To lead them to safety.  But I find myself ridiculing people for their struggles, judging them, making up a million excuses of why it's Their Own Fault.   My experience was My Own Fault.  I didn't pay attention to my surroundings, I didn't take the advice of others, I trusted my own judgement.  That didn't change the fact that I needed to be Rescued.   As much as I HATE that this happened and put a cloud over our otherwise perfect vacation, I am sure God intends to use it in my life for the rest of my life.  I pray that I, when I see someone unaware that they've drifted too far, will say  "Can I help you?  You've wondered off course."  Or if I see someone flailing and shouting and screaming for help, I won't turn and say, "Is anybody going to get her?  Not my problem."  I pray that I have the courage to stand with someone for strength and drag them back in, if necessary.  2 Peter 3:17-18  tells us "Dear friends, be on your guard so that you may not be CARRIED AWAY by the error of the lawless and fall from your secure position. But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen."